In case you’ve been watching The Bachelorette this season, that Gabby, Rachel, and all of their suitors are cruising by way of Europe (with loads of emotional baggage in tow).

Naturally, they’re not simply cruising away on any cruise ship. They’re setting sail on the Valiant Woman by Virgin Voyages, a brand new cruise line from Richard Branson that launched final yr.

And as you may anticipate from Sir Branson—and a ship that doesn’t enable youngsters on it—it’s not precisely rated PG. Assume: A “Lick me ’til” ice cream store and a comedy present with a intercourse therapist. There are additionally over 20 eating places, a on line casino, pool decks, and a few rooms also have a personal balcony with a hammock.

I sailed on the cruise ship just lately, however not like the Bachelorettes crusing together with their entourage, I went solo. And whereas there weren’t any roses given out throughout my journey, I can inform you firsthand that it was… a journey.

It’s Designed For The Anti-Cruiser

Neglect all the pieces about cruises. Every part of the ship seems to be prefer it’s proper out of Architectural Digest—significantly, your social media followers won’t ever guess that you just’re in the course of the ocean. You received’t discover any buffet-style eating anyplace onboard, both. The ships are smaller and extra intimate, so that you received’t really feel overcrowded. It’s so well-designed that once we reached our first port, I didn’t need to get off the ship. 

There’s a pill in your room that may management the lights and curtains at totally different settings, too. It features a “let’s get it on” mode the place the mattress body turns into illuminated with Virgin’s signature pink lighting. I doubt you’ll be spending a lot time in your room, but when for some purpose you resolve to camp out in there for a day, you’ll have a whole bunch of films to select from.

There Aren’t Meal Plans Or Themed Dinners

Virgin Voyages’ motto is come how you’re. You may eat with out cost at any restaurant (sure, even the high-end ones). Simply make a reservation on the app whereas onboard or attempt your luck with a walk-in.

On different cruise strains, fancy themed nights are the norm, however you received’t discover something like that right here. There may be, although, a Scarlet Evening get together on the pool deck, that includes drinks, dancing, and a large inflatable octopus. Everybody wears pink, naturally.

Work Laborious, Play Laborious Is The Vibe Onboard

I’ve by no means been on a ship with health facilities like this one. In case you’re feeling energetic, go for the dawn yoga class. There’s additionally a observe on the highest deck, which may be the spot for probably the most wonderful views, even in case you’re not planning on doing a lot operating.

I extremely suggest hanging the other way up within the bungee class for some enjoyable and a tough exercise, however positively not after lunch. In case you’d quite keep proper facet up, there’s out of doors boxing, meditation, HIIT exercises and even hikes at vacation spot ports. 

You Can Shake For Champagne

With the Virgin Voyages app onboard, you will get a bottle of Moët & Chandon champagne from anyplace on the ship that might be hand delivered to you (for a payment, in fact). All it’s important to do is shake your cellphone (AKA shake for champagne), and inside minutes, a pleasant, chilly bottle will seem. Magic! 

Self-care Is On A Entire New Degree

This ship is the primary ever to have a tattoo parlor onboard, and the aptly-named Squid Ink sells out of appointments inside hours. In case you’re not craving a tattoo at sea, there’s a Dry Dock blowout bar, barber store, and a spa. Oh, and did we point out you will get Botox, as a result of god forbid you age a day in your week-long voyage.

Redemption Spa is a spot the place you lose observe of time and simply unwind. Massages embrace a scorching stone to a seaweed wrap—sure, seaweed. There’s a mudroom, sauna, salt sauna, pool and in case you’re feeling adventurous, an ice chilly tub. 

The Leisure Is Wild

The Manor, which you will acknowledge the infinity mirror-style entry approach from the Bachelorette episode, is a two-story area for exhibits and late-night dancing. One present, By no means Sleep Alone, is a comedy present from sexologist Dr. A. Different exhibits embrace acrobatic theatrics, singing, and dancing with… big graphics of a cat. Full of WTF moments, it’s not like something I’ve skilled. 

All informed, you don’t need to be searching for love like Gabby and Rachel to galavant Europe at sea. Let’s simply hope that nobody goes overboard on subsequent week’s episode, and the fellows are finished switching groups. Taking a look at you, Logan…

Picture: ABC/Craig Sjodin